Moneyshot: Cutie Doll

By Dr. H. Crotch

A year or so ago, Japanzine reported on the Sayaka Deep Kiss sex doll. With her highly applaudable combination of, "removable mouth and vagina", we thought we'd found the ultimate in foxy figurines, and that the market must surely be in a state of unrepeatable climax. No, no and thrice nay. This is Japan, after all. As the popular "Japanese Sex Doll" clip on YouTube suggests, there's a whole world of shocking perversity where that came from. With Sayaka, we'd barely broken the surface.

The production of Japanese sex dolls, or dutch-waifu as the heedless locals have it, is a hugely lucrative industry, serving a nation of men who increasingly seem to be off their game. Purportedly a patriarchal society, many observers will point out that it's the women of Japan that hold the leash, and this dominance seems to be spilling over into the bedroom. Once-proud samurai, Lords of all they purveyed, Japanese patriarchs are now suffering demands from their feisty mistresses. And so, increasingly, they take refuge in the mentality of the hentai  or otaku, where all is fantasy, kawaii, and - above all - submissive. As the YouTube clip suggests, it's not exactly a balanced world. In fact, it's decidedly warped.

Featured heavily in the segment is the genuinely frightening Cutie Doll, a silicone critter who looks all of 12 years old. Actually, she looks more like a 12-year-old's toy; a life-size replication of your bog-standard anime character - only, this particular toy is capable of actions that'd have most 12-year-olds calling Childline quick-smart.

As many a degenerate blog will inform you, the Cutie Doll boasts several capabilities that put Sayaka and her cohorts in the shade. We can think of no less perverse place to start than the reversible vagina. The manufacturers claim that the forced prolapse function is included purely to ease the washing process, but excited users have quickly discovered that a little tweaking here and there results in an outstanding erection. Seriously, Ron Jeremy would blush. No doubt the designers knew exactly what this creature was capable of.

However, the most disturbing feature of this Frankensteins monster (if pressed to choose one) is the interactive chest. If our salaryman is feeling frisky after a hard day at the office, not only can he choose to have his play-pal phallically enhanced, he can also deflate his/ her/ its mammaries to suit. All well and good, if that's the reason he's messing with her measurements, but - considering how the manufacturers never intended the beast to come with a cock - it seems more than likely that her deflatablilty is to enhance the 12-year-old aspect we noticed when we unpacked her.

Arguments can be made both for and against the usefulness of this product in the prevention of pedophiliac crime, though it's unlikely that customers have much use for a live human being in the first place. Still, we'd argue that any purchase of the Cutie Doll ought to come with some kind of police notification. After all, reversible vagina and inflatable chest can only keep a fetid mind interested for so long.  

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